Domestic Violence Relationship Quiz

This self quiz is offered through the University of Ilinois Office of Women's Affairs:

 

               

   

Relationship Quiz

• Do you feel nervous or fearful in your relationship?

•  Are you afraid of your partner's temper?

•  Do you have to be careful to control your behavior to avoid his/her anger? Do you feel like you are always “walking on eggshells”?

•  Are you afraid to say “No” to sex?

•  Do you feel powerless in your relationship?

•  Are you scared of disagreeing with him/her?

•  Are you afraid to break up with your partner?

•  Does s/he criticize you, or humiliate you in front of other people?

•  Does s/he check up on you or question you about what you do without him/her?

•  Does s/he act controlling?

•  Does s/he repeatedly and wrongly accuse you of seeing other guys/women?

•  Does s/he tell you that if you changed s/he wouldn't abuse you?

•  Does s/he act jealous of the time you spend with other people?

•  Does s/he make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy, or inadequate?

•  Does s/he call you names?

•  Does s/he ignore your feelings?

•  Has s/he ridiculed your most valued beliefs, your religion, race, class or sexual preference?

•  Has s/he ever scared you with violence or threatening behavior?

•  Does s/he tell you what to wear, or how to do your hair?

•  Does s/he prevent you from going out or doing things you want to do?

•  Do you feel that, with him/her, nothing you do is ever good enough?

•  Does s/he say that s/he will kill or hurt themselves if you break up with him/her?

•  Does s/he make excuses for his/her abusive behavior by saying it's because of alcohol or drugs or because s/he can't control his/her temper, or that s/he was 'just joking'?

•  Does s/he hate spending time with your family and keep you from seeing your friends and family?

•  Does s/he withhold approval, appreciation or affection as punishment?

•  Has s/he manipulated you with lies?

•  Has s/he taken your car keys or money away?

•  Has s/he subjected you to reckless driving?

     If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you could be in an abusive relationship, or a relationship that could become abusive. Remember, we don't believe you deserve to be abused, no matter what. Together we CAN find a way...312.413.8206

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Comments

[Jamie London]

It is so tragic to know that what began, probably for both parties, as a chance for love, happiness and fulfillment results in such toxic, harmful behavior. Of course, some people have deep-rooted sociopathic issues and, for them, there is little hope short of extensive therapeutic work. BUT one wonders if the parties involved had taken action earlier to save their relationship, their dignity and in some cases, their lives, whether things could've developed differently. So many couples sweep problems under the rug until there is a mountain under there - far too much to realistically believe you could undo. I encourage couples who love and respect each other to seek guidance to save their relationships before the degenerate into something tragic.

Jaime London
Is Your Relationship Over? Or Is There Still Hope?

[lydia]

i was in a very abusive relationship for over 25 years and it was the same over and over, it was my fault, you made me do it, the flowers, the promises no it does not stop... the abuse continues the bruises get bigger the tears will not end until you say no more.

trust me i did and it was almost to late because he almost killed me, but i did it now and it will be four years that i will be divorce and i now am happy and remarried with a man that loves me and my children and he is the most loving man in the world and you to can have this in time.
trust me i never thought possible....

[Elizabeth Hensley]

me and my old man are in a d.v relationship. we have alot of problems it got so bad that the courts threaten to take my kids away from me. we have to do d.v classes and family counsling. we both love eachother very much and want to work this out. my point to this is that every relationship has problems some worst than others, but if you both truley love eachoter and you both want it to work, and not just for the kids then there is people out there who can help. you just have to be honest with eachother. you both have to work on the problem not just one.trust me i know how it feels to try to make it work and the other person not trying at all. and i'm not saying that if its real bad or if its real bad than stay just try to get help if you both want it to work.